Reflections...

I hate this time of year and love it in equal measure. Not the 6 weeks holiday but exam results day. Partly because it is the day the whole world judges you as a teacher but also because it is a day when you see students that you truly care for either feel genuine elation or you see their hearts break. It is always at this time of year that I find myself asking 'did I get it right?' 'did I do enough?'

I have been teaching for seven years now and I know that it is really down to the students - did they work hard enough? Were they truly motivated? And I know these are valid questions but in truth it would be naive to think that as a teacher you don't have influence over outcomes. My teaching style doesn't fit into a box as such but I love teaching, I love teaching A level and helping pupils on a journey from GCSE which tended to come so very easily to them to university which often doesn't. I try to make my lessons fun and interesting, I try to meet every bullet point on the spec,I try to teach them skills to help thm in their essays, I drag them in over the holidays for extra revision but buy them pizza in recognition of their efforts, I set reasonable deadlines, listen to excuses and stretch the boundaries when I know their reasons are genuine and most of all, I really like my students - I get to know them and I get invested in them. I enjoy teaching them and hearing their new perspectives on material that I have covered before.

This year I had to teach Psychology in addition to the Philosophy A level I usually teach so this year I have two sets of results to worry over. And if the results are not what they should be, I will need to pick apart my teaching, figure out where I went wrong, compare myself to people who do better. Ask myself if my teaching persona is wrong. Should I be tougher? Should I distance myself from my students? Should I care less? Push more content, harness less skills? I can't help thinking though that if I did that, if I became harsher and tougher and less interested in the person I am teaching, then this job would be just a job and possibly one I would not enjoy. So I guess we shall see. I shall get the results, over analyze my performance, reflect and try to change to improve. Only tomorrow will tell.

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