Nurture 15/16 or a version of it anyway.

2015 was a year – not a good year, not a bad year just a year.  Lots of change, lots of life stuff that probably doesn’t need to be shared in a blog and a general feeling that I won’t be sad to see the end of this particular year. 

Before pondering the year to come, it is worth reflecting on the goals I set for myself for the year just gone.  The first task I set for myself was to remember the importance of the act of teaching and the impact it can have, to remain committed to the provision of an education that meets the need of every child.  In some ways I have struggled with this one as I didn’t start properly teaching until September.  I don’t think I have forgotten what is important to me but I do think I have had fewer opportunities to put it into practice.  I wanted to say yes to new experiences and this one I really didn’t.  I retreated back into my shell a bit and whilst I think I have learned a lot in my new job, other than that, this one really didn’t take.  My third goal was to learn.  I wanted to attend CPDL events and get back on my masters.  I managed the CPDL bit going to some amazing events: Inspiring Leadership, Education Fest, ResearchEd, TLAB, TLT, Northern Rocks, Pedagoo Hants (I even presented!) etc. and they were all fantastic (If you have never been, pick an event, any event, and give it a go).  Financial issues meant that the masters wasn’t viable but maybe next year.  My final two goals were personal.  I wanted to make sure that leaving home didn’t mean leaving my people behind and I have done quite well with this.  I have lost one or two people along the way but have managed to keep the people that matter most and I am grateful for that.  I also wanted to manage the nurture part of looking after myself – photography, baseball writing, etc.  I did some of this but not enough.         

So 2016… What for this year?

Honestly I don’t know.  2015 has left me feeling a little out of sorts, discombobulated and off track.  So I suppose the aim for 2016 is to get myself feeling in sorts, focused and on track.  An important part of that is having goals so I am choosing 6 goals to aim for this year (plus diet and holidays but you don’t want to read that!).  So here they are:

1.     To read.  I need to read, to open my mind, extend my thinking and read because I enjoy it.  So the aim is 52 books in 52 weeks – 1 book per week and no feelings of guilt whilst making time for them.

2.     I have applied to continue my masters, even if I end up in a pile of debt, I no longer care.  For reasons I do not understand, the masters is the single most important goal for me and I have been wanting to do it for the last three years.  If not now, when?  So affordable or not, by the time I reflect again in twelve months I will have been to summer school (application acceptance pending) and be in the process of completing my next two modules.  I will get this done – it was such phenomenal CPD last time that it has to be my own personal CPD focus this year.

3.     In school, I want to create a CPDL programme that has impact and meaning – I would like to incorporate masters study into this for other staff if possible.  I also want to get my head round how best to teach students (and staff) about mental health and well-being.  Because I was inspired by a talk delivered by Dr Pooky Knightsmith and I think it is too important to not address.

4.     I need to find the love in teaching again.  I used to argue quite passionately that it doesn’t matter what you teach, that I was a teacher of students not subjects but I am not sure that is true.  I miss teaching Psychology and Philosophy far more than I ever thought I would.  I need to find joy in teaching subjects that I am less expert in and passionate about (which is difficult with the amount of curriculum change being introduced) but I think it can be done if I focus on the pedagogy side which has always enthused and motivated me.  So I am going to go back to reading, researching and trialling new ideas and hope that it kickstarts my passion!

5.     I need to try to make Devon home.  A year on I still miss the West Midlands a lot.  I am glad I left my old job and am happy to see how well my old school is doing, it makes me proud and happy to see the journey they are on.  And I really like my new job but I haven’t done much in the way of making my new life, my new life.  And maybe that’s okay.  But perhaps part of feeling settled requires me to put down some roots and try to find a home down here.  We are still in the slightly too small rental, in the very too small town(?) and half of my life is still boxed up.  I need to try to become more settled and whilst there are some fairly sizeable barriers to this, I need to give it a go.

6.     The final thing is about being brave and letting go.  I have been stuck in a situation that for years my very best friends have told me I need to find an end to.  An end is presenting itself and whilst letting go might be a difficult thing to do, it will be the right thing to do.  I suspect that the next few months will be quite the challenge but if I can let go of the things that need to be let go of, I might just find the rest of 2016 significantly easier!

So a slightly short and muddledy list of things and not the most ambitious by my own admission (although adding health, diet and holidays should sort that out).  If I fail at these, I may just start collecting cats and give into my destiny as a crazy cat lady!!    

Happy 2016 tweeps!